Major Meltdown Monday

I’m having a major meltdown today. Maybe it’s because Aunt Flo has reared her ugly head for the first time in months, and my hormones are all over the place. Maybe it’s because I haven’t heard anything on the many job applications I have out. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling exceptionally worthless today. Maybe it’s because the Colts didn’t win the Super Bowl. Maybe it’s a combination of everything. I blame it on hormones. Or the Colts.
I am so tired of beating my head against the wall looking for a job, when no one wants me. I keep hearing all this “overqualified” crap and I’m sick of it. IMO,  no one is “overqualified” for anything. People, me included, are qualified for anything and everything that falls within their skill set. I’m also tired of prospective employers deciding that I “wouldn’t be happy” doing whatever job they are hiring for. Uh, I knew what the job was when I applied. How about letting  ME decide whether or not I’d be happy? If I want to file papers or flip burgers, that’s my choice, not yours. So what if I have a college degree and 24 years work experience? (Yes, that makes me OLD ~ too old for most employers to want to hire anyway).
Many people I interview with are younger, a lot younger, than I am. When I encounter this, I automatically know that I will NOT  get the job. So far, that’s been true. I will also not get the job if I appear smarter than the interviewer. Unfortunately, I am not an actress,  and playing dumb is not one of my skills. Employers seem to prefer hiring younger, dumber people for job openings, so that THEY don’t look dumb to their bosses. 
I have applied for so many jobs ~ I’ve applied for ones I’m extremely qualified for, ones I’m not qualified for, ones I could do in my sleep…and still no luck. I’ve applied for specific jobs. I’ve put in many applications at places who may or may not have openings, but  take  online apps continuously. These apps, I’m sure, go the way of the delete button; or are at least in some huge pile somewhere that never gets looked at. I’m not asking for the world here, I just need a job. I feel so useless and worthless, like I’m not contributing anything …although I know the hubby will never tell me that. We are barely scraping by month to month, even with him working (and making just over minimum wage). If we didn’t have my 401K, we’d be screwed. And we won’t have that for much longer.
Competition for jobs is fierce. For a recent job opening I attempted to apply for, I was told that they had received 120+ applications in one day, and were not taking new applications for the position. And this was for a part-time position at minimum wage. Besides the competition, employers, as I’ve mentioned, seem to want the inexperienced (at anything), young, not-as-smart candidates who can be molded.
Writing is not paying off either. I can’t get anyone to hire me on that front either. It doesn’t help that there are thousands of people applying for freelance/telecommuting writing jobs who can’t spell, or use proper grammar or punctuation. These “writers” will work for cheap, and people looking for writers hire them because they will work for cheap. And, many of these people are from countries other than the U.S., so the low wages are not low to them. If it weren’t for the above-mentioned 401K, I would have made a whopping $300 last year.
There are some people out there who may say that I did this to myself, leaving a good job in the midwest to move to the desert southwest, without a job. However, little do they know that I was going to be losing that good job. I knew that at best I had a year left before the position was a victim of downsizing/hubbing. So, even if I had stayed, I would be in the same position there, now, as I am here. And, if I’m having to live with no job and no money, I’d much rather be here than there.
I spent 24 years doing one thing – 17 years with one employer and 7 years with another. 24 years that was wasted, IMO, because I am pigeon-holed. Although much of my job was customer service, clerical and administrative – since those areas were not my primary job function ~ those skills don’t count in the eyes of employers.I’ve changed my resume from chronological to functional, outlining my skills and not my jobs ~ but it still doesn’t matter.
I’m trying an experiment on my next application. I’m going to intentionally misspell words, use poor grammar, and ‘dumb’ myself down as much as possible. Then maybe I’ll get the job.

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About Beth

I'm a part-time freelance writer, full-time high school CTE administrative assistant, mother, wife and dreamer. In my free time I enjoy reading, crafts, watching movies and spending time with my best friend and love of my life.
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1 Response to Major Meltdown Monday

  1. Zasu says:

    Hang in there Kiddo! I've been there and I work in the IT field which prefers 20 year olds to 60 year olds (I'm an ancient geek). Stay proactive!

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